Thinking long term, struggling short term

I'm still here but struggling. There are great days and bad days and I'm trying very hard to not let the bad ones derail me longterm.

Strawberries from my garden
blueberries from Mums - and
2 types of plums from friends.

I'm sitting at 85.3kg (188 pounds). Lack of progress is getting me down if I'm honest but I'm trying to remember how far I've come and how great it feels to have a success. Shortly after my ex husband proposed I chuffed myself down the road to my local London Weight Watchers to do what every impending bride does. The last time I had really weighed myself before then would have been shortly after I left school and it was 72kgs (158 pounds) when I signed up for a gym membership (because I felt fat!).

That little Scottish woman that weighed me in that night wrote 104kg (229 pounds) on my little booklet and I remember not really hearing what else was said during the meeting and then crying the length of short walk home. I must have only gone back a few times. Not enough to make a difference anyway.

So while I've read research that tells us how easy it is to gain a pound or 2 each year - I'm 18kg (41 pounds) lighter than I was 12 years ago.

Something must be working. Back to the fruit!